I recently watched a TikTok from a somewhat frustrated bride-to-be who just happened to be marrying another woman. Nothing out of the ordinary, you might think but her experiences hinted that the wedding industry hasn’t necessarily stopped to reflect how it deals with people across all communities.

Suppliers at wedding fairs presuming the couple were, in fact, the bride and her best mate and asking “so where’s the groom today?”. Hotel venues with one fabulous bridal preparation suite and a dingy room with a beer fridge for the groom and his mates.

This followed on from a conversation I had with the absolutely wonderful Gino Meriano, who founded the Gay Wedding Show some twenty years ago. Every year, Gino hopes he can gracefully retire the show as society has become inclusive enough to make it redundant. And every year, he sees the need to continue the mission.

https://gayweddingshow.co.uk  #gayweddingshow

Interesting fact: I was amazed to learn that Gino & his husband Mike were amongst the first UK couples to enter a civil partnership in 2005 and, more annoyingly, Gino was still able to get into his wedding suit trousers eighteen years later!

All of this certainly made me stop and challenge myself. I passionately believe in providing a Toastmaster service that is genuinely welcoming to all. Gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation or disability  – love does not discriminate, and nor will I. That is not only the right thing to do but also, being mercenary for a moment, a potential commercial advantage. It strikes me that wedding providers who’ve not addressed this are probably not deliberately excluding clients, but not making an effort to include them.

First steps? I redesigned my ‘wedding plan questionnaire’ to avoid any traditional assumptions and language. Pronouns matter. Even the time-honoured Toastmaster call of “Ladies & Gentlemen…” is hardly all-encompassing in some settings (I’ve gone for “Honoured guests”, but am open to suggestions!)

And, while we’re at it, let’s lose the traditional family structure trope – divorce and re-marriage happens, folks.

I made obvious on my social media and email that I am a safe supplier for all. I may look like the stereotypical Toastmaster (complete with obligatory beard and somewhat fuller in my figure!), but I’m damned if I’m going to act that way.

These are only baby steps, and I can’t promise I’ll get it right every time but at least I’ll get it wrong with genuine good intentions.