Couple ceremonies, whether wedding or civil partnership celebrations, commitment or renewal ceremonies have a number of distinct characteristics that traditional religious or civil marriage formats simply cannot provide. Firstly, and obviously, they are secular in nature. They do not have to follow a prescribed format and can use (legal issues excepting) any form of words. Furthermore, they are not a ‘one off’ and can be a valuable companion to a couple’s journey through life.

Given that the percentage of religious marriages in England & Wales has fallen from 85% to 18% in little over a century, it is clear that they no longer meet the needs of the majority of couples. However, that should not imply that the institution of ‘marriage’ in its non-legal sense has no relevance today. The continuing rise of both civil marriage and partnerships and non-statutory marriages strongly evinces a desire to formally mark a partnership, to make public commitments to it and to celebrate it with kith and kin. 

On the other hand non-statutory wedding ceremonies do, currently, leave a legal void so it is perhaps no surprise that many couples formalise their relationship through the civil route and then celebrate it with a couples ceremony. 

Whilst it is clear that couples ceremonies have an increasing part to play in our culture , they also have an impact on the individual relationships, in particular with same-sex couples. Given that most religious institutions remain ambivalent if not openly hostile to the whole concept of such relationships, whatever provision they make for couples to celebrate within that community can best be described as a compromise and at worst non-existent. 

Issues of gender and sexuality aside, couples choose wedding ceremonies for a variety of reasons. Some are practical, such as licensing issues at their preferred venue and some are more emotionally-driven – the freedom to use personally-significant words is a good example.

Another area in which couples ceremonies have an impact on relationships is in renewal or commitment ceremonies. These were relatively rare less than a generation ago as the religious institutions did not traditionally offer such ceremonies. This may have been because, in a way, a renewal of vows was superfluous in the eyes of the church as the ones originally given were binding for life anyway. 

Ease of access to, and increased awareness of, commitment ceremonies has doubtless led to increased uptake. For the couple to renew their commitment can be a valuable way of cementing and reinvigorating the relationship, so this evolution is to be welcomed.